Spring is at long last incinerated. Everyone is zoning out at work, daydreaming their endless list of blissful nothingness. This Fourth of July weekend marks the official welcome of summer, with rustily unrefined bike riding, grains of the earth nostalgically seeking refuge in skin cells and well-rewarded adults sneaking Smirnoff & sports drink in label-less water bottles onto their favorite beaches.
It is better recommended to enjoy this season of cocktails within the confines of shore bars or house gatherings, but don’t let that stifle your creative instinct. In fact, inspired by New York’s alcohol-liberating Fire Island, homage shall jointly be paid to the traditional weekly beach trip and a notoriously acquired flavor of whiskey…Fireball.
Toughen up those tastebuds, embrace your inner Pitbull and don’t forget your SPF Umpteen. Here are five ways this actually makes sense:
1. Fireball Sangria
Let’s begin this quintessential boozy beach bash by lighting a match on wine’s pants. If red is too decadent for you in the summer heat, then I can imagine a rosé or zinfandel working just as wonderfully, allowing the fiery cinnamon to stroke alongside the citrus with less resistance as you sunbathe. Pair the blood orange with mangos, berries or melons as opposed to the apples, which we’ll highlight separately later on.
2. Tiki Torch
If you like piña coladas and getting caught on the boardwalk with those virtuous shot bottles in your board shorts, then set your sundial timer and waterfall to every crashing wave. Put our stainless steel flasks to good use!
3. 57 Chevy Margarita
Whether it’s a serenely sandy wedding pregame or rental three-day weekend, substitute your Prosecco with Fireball and splash tequila accordingly. Then come back for the reception with salted rims and shaking in more ways than one!
4. Apple Pie on the Rocks
Coming from a bona fide Thanksgiving snob, autumn cannot solely put a stranglehold on apple atop the pie-archy. Leave the custom mudslides for pool parties and indoor Thursdays, and relish in a more refreshing dessert cocktail as Independence Day puts the ultimate Fire in fireworks.
5. Fire Beer?
Those who flaunt their signed Hogsmeade permission slips on their refrigerators are well aware of Harry Potter’s 20th anniversary transpiring this past Monday. If you can equally boast experiencing Universal Studios’ replicated Wizarding World, note that in addition to J.K. Rowling’s butterscotch sensation, Fireball has essentially Slytherined its way into magical witness protection.
During my last visit two years ago, the Hog’s Head managed to spellbind my Floridian chicas and I with some mysterious “Chinese Fireball ” concoctions. Because that bartender subsequently doesn’t belong to you, churn your own Butterbeer at home and add a swish and flick of Incendio!
For all of the intestines that survived up to this point, what are YOUR go-to summer cocktails, and are you bold enough to drown them in liquified Big Red gum? Share with us via the comments below, remember to keep honey braided pretzels handy and have a safe anti-prohibitionist holiday!
Mike L. // The Guide